Surprise! Impeachment Was A Sham.

Pictured%3A+Fully+grown+adults.+%28via+Fox+News%29

Pictured: Fully grown adults. (via Fox News)

As the closest thing Audubon High School has to the impoverished paperboy standing atop a crate of apples on a street corner screaming the latest headlines at passersby during the Great Depression, I take an excessive amount a certain amount of pride in staying relatively up to date on world happenings among the other responsibilities that I juggle. Donald Trump’s impeachment, however, is not one of those happenings.

But why? Why would anyone not follow the story of the decade; the culmination of 4 years of exponentially increasing political polarization between America’s left and right wings as the country’s political process and capability to create dialogue makes a turn for the Stone Age? How could you possibly call yourself “in the know” if you’re not following the story that’s defining America’s political landscape as we speak?

Because Donald Trump’s impeachment means absolutely nothing but to make it appear as though the Democratic Party is still a unified entity that can rally behind a single cause without quarrel, and for our political leaders to make pretend that they’re still accomplishing something to the benefit of the American people instead of taking turns at stamping on their rivals.

On top of it all, it’s because the Democratic Party is scared shitless, and rightfully so, that the coming election is about to be swept by this man:

Dashing. (via Butterflies and Wheels)

Pete Buttigieg, former mayor of South Bend, Indiana, would dethrone Theodore Roosevelt as the youngest US president as well as the first to be openly gay should he be elected. (photo via Vox)

That’s a tall accusation to make, isn’t it? Well, allow me to begin by elaborating on my first point. Have you read about the Iowa Caucus? It came down to a razor thin margin between Buttigieg and Sanders, with Buttigieg claiming a winning two votes over his rival. It was far from an easy win, or more importantly, a clean one. The vote took a much longer time than it normally did, and when Buttigieg payed a large sum of cash to a certain “Shadow Inc.”, the expected allegations of ballot rigging began to fly. Sanders, who was expected to win or place high on the results, is now asking for a partial recanvas as Buttigieg and Sanders fans alike threaten to stay home or even defect to the Republicans if their candidate doesn’t come out on top. Among the sea of dissent is one voice pleading for the warring party to find common ground: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who called for some level of unity and a revitalization of the “Vote Blue, No Matter Who” slogan.

Branching away from Iowa, a couple similar notable events include a crowd of Sanders supporters drowning out Buttigieg at a New Hampshire fundraiser with the chant “Wall Street Pete”, as well as #NeverPete and #NeverBernie hashtags gaining considerable amounts of posts on Twitter.

While their behavior on the campaign trail is obviously important, their difference in principle can’t be ignored. While the two share similar views on single-payer healthcare, immigration, college tuition, gun ownership, etc., Sanders tends to take a more hardline stance on positions than Buttigieg and a majority of the other Democratic candidates. The Democratic Party has split into a socialist and moderate factions; every day becoming less willing to compromise, and every day drifting apart in terms of policy on which they share common ground. This is why the Democrats are unable to find their knight in shining armor to combat Trump, and their lack of an obvious champion, ANY champion, is why they needed impeachment. The cracks in their armor weren’t visible. This certainly isn’t a hot take by any stretch; Plenty of people before me had read the writing on the wall: The Dems are on the decline, and fast. To quell the droves of voters leaving the Democratic pocket by either staying home or defecting to the GOP, they needed some serious marketing, and they needed something that the social and moderate camp could both vibe with. Here’s a question for you, the Bernie voter reading this: What person in American politics currently do you hate the most? Now, Buttigieg voter, who do you hate the most in American politics right now?

Yeah, I know.

Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders gained significant traction in the 2016 election and has gained a large following among America’s young, college-age progressives, but the self-described socialist sports an extremely diverse voter base as an ardent supporter of the LGBTQ+ and PoC communities. (photo via Vanity Fair)

If there was ever an effective method of bringing together opposing groups who hate each other together, finding a common enemy does the trick. Lo and behold, one Republican has been such a pain in the Democrats’ collective side that being blue has become almost synonymous with hating him. All the Democrats needed was a common enemy, and Donald Trump was their man. For a time, it was going well for the Democrats. Look how efficiently they fell in line against Trump. They even scored a few Republican defectors, notably Utah Senator Mitt Romney. The Democratic Party looked just as their name suggested: One party, and not a loose confederation of barely strung together clans. Contrasted with the Iowa Caucus, it looked like the Democratic Party still had its bite; Its ability to get things done and move in one direction still present.

It was their Hail Mary shot at dragging down the Republican Party with them because they know that Trump is the only possible choice for Republicans. What, you think Republicans would rally behind Bill Weld if their champion was struck down? Roque de la Fuente? I doubt many Republicans even know their names, even fewer considering either of the two remaining running candidates besides Trump as a contingency plan as opposed to simply staying home if the Democrats did manage to make a miracle happen in front of Senate. Their only real shot at this point, between the threats of abstention, defection, and general disagreement, was to take a chance at throwing the Republican Party into the same disarray and level the playing field between the two parties again. Even if that didn’t guarantee a Democratic win by any stretch, the GOP would have just as hard a time finding a rallying figure as the Democrats. And don’t get me wrong, Trump’s removal and the ensuing chaos would have made the Democratic Party’s innumerable squabbles look petty in comparison, but I digress:

Trump’s removal didn’t happen. On February 5th, Donald Trump was acquitted by Senate. He came out of the ordeal with the legal equivalent of a slap on the wrist. He isn’t barred from running again, even with the mark on his record. The walls once again came crashing down on the Democratic Party, the mirage lifted. Did he deserve to be impeached? Maybe. Probably. But the important question is: Did the Democrats band together to vanquish the Presidemporer Trump out of a mutual sense of justice and adherence to moral and legal principle laid out in the Constitution, as House Speaker Pelosi would like to have us believe? It’d certainly be a nice thought, and it’s not at all impossible that it is the case, but in our current political climate, in a time like this, it’s hard for me to subscribe to that.

So, where do we stand now? Well, Trump is still well within striking distance of an election that’s still nearly a year away. The Democrats, while still admittedly in the early stages of the primaries, are still locked in a dead heat between Sanders and Buttigieg as the once likely Elizabeth Warren and Joe Biden lag behind by a surprising margin. And what do we have to show for Donald Trump’s impeachment? An even more steeply divided America, unable to find common ground anywhere, entirely unwilling to compromise, and at times unable to even identify each other as human beings as any attempts at serious political dialogue become sparse and political rallies transform into riots within mere moments. The Democratic Party is collapsing.

Thanks, Obama.