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Whats Next, Dogs in Cages Too?

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“Just left Border Patrol Processing Center in McAllen—aka “the dog kennel.” Witnessed
loads of kids massed together in large pens of chain-linked fence separated from their moms
and dads. @realDonaldTrump, change your shameful policy today! #FamiliesBelongTogether”

It is a relatively known fact throughout America that we have an immigration problem, and when
I say immigration problem, I mean children in cages. For months at a time while their parents
are separated and detained at the border. But don’t fret! I’m offering an idea that could change
the face of this controversial issue, and it’s quick and efficient.

Countless people have commented on the trauma that young children can endure and
hold onto while they are being held in these detainment centers on the border, but I say it’s
good for them! They learn the meaning of a true, hard-working American. But that’s not the
REAL problem at hand. The real problem is that our own children, born and raised in America,
are missing out on this once-in-a-lifetime experience that MAKES them hard-working! So, I have
a proposal: in place of all the young immigrant children at the centers, we bring our own children
there, give ‘em a bag, and let them fend for themselves.

I know what you’re thinking: This is completely ridiculous. Why would we put our own
children in that dangerous situation? Don’t worry, we put young, impressionable, immigrant
children in there all the time and some of them obviously turn out fine. The traumatic experiences and
life-threatening conditions toughen you up, and give leeway to knowing what a true American is.
Isn’t that what all of you want? For them to be true Americans?

Trust me when I say this: this is a good idea. Your children get a lesson in whatever
they’re trying to do with those kids already there, and you get that nice excitement in your
stomach when thinking about whether you’re kid will turn up alive and ok, or traumatized and
unable to recover. I call it luck of the draw, both reasonable outcomes for what is going on. Of
course, we could always just take all of the children out of detainment and give them a good life,
but what’s the fun of that? We need a good solution, and this is the best one yet.

We, as a country, should be proud of what is happening! Isn’t this what we wanted? Social reform? Well, you asked, and I delivered!

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