Ocean of Lies

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Drawing by Jordan Amato

The eyes are the window to the soul. We are told to fall in love with people’s eyes because it is the only thing that will never change. You changed. Your eyes were bright blue. Ocean blue. I found myself captivated by them. But now I look down at my arms and feel the phantom trace of your hands on my wrists from when you clenched them tight trying to suffocate the truth from coming out so that you didn’t have to take responsibility. Please take responsibility. The utter loneliness I felt as you drifted me farther away from the shore. Lost, trying to stay afloat in the turbulent sea. The bait you placed on my back, instigating the continuous swarm of sharks trying to take what I wouldn’t give to you. The comfort I found in the crisp ocean air as I struggled to muffle my screams of frustration and pure heartbreak. The endless hours of you pointing out every imperfection down to the core of my soul. Yet I looked deep into those eyes and still believed you placed the stars in the night sky. Convinced that it was love. Convinced that I was in love. Each manipulative word corroding my lungs, each gasp of air shorter. Now I look back at night, the moonlight filling the dark sky, the faint whispers of waves crashing in and I ask myself, was I falling in love with you, or was I just drowning in your ocean of lies?