Birds are an interesting type of creature. When you think about it, they’re basically not real- you mean to tell me that those little feathered things are related to the mighty King of the Lizards? I really doubt that. No. Birds are more than that. 

Have you ever seen a bird in the Winter? No, probably not. The scientists and the media men will tell you that that’s because they migrate South, but I think we all know the real reason. Should I even have to say it? Birds are government stooges- robots, created for military intelligence agencies to enforce martial law when the time comes. We invite birds into our homes with bird feeders, have them in our malls at places like pet stores, and give them free range in the wild. There’s nowhere you can go where a bird won’t find you- which makes them the perfect spy. In Iraq, we literally use big bird-like robots known as UAV drones to spy on Iraqi groups and make attacks. The only difference between an MQ-9 Reaper and a Crow is size, coloration, and weapons loadout. It’s only a matter of time, anyway, before we start seeing Pigeons with fully-automatic 9mm mouth-mounted cannons. 

Fear the birds, because they don’t fear you.